Third act trousseau

Any good romance movie or book worth its popcorn salt has a wedding right before The End. And romantics like me crave details, dang it, details! I want to see it all–the kneeling proposal, giddy bridal shower, gown shopping, Mendelssohn at the altar–every precious moment.

Now, given how ridiculously obsessed with weddings as I am, it might surprise you to learn I had virtually none of the above. We eloped, me in cords and a turtleneck. Later, fellow equally poor college-age newlyweds showered us with castoff utensils and hand-me-down avocado green Corningware. I was touched by their generosity. But, in my secret heart-of-hearts, I felt cheated. 

Where was my trousseau? My Teflon Bundt pan? My gleaming silver service for eight?

Curse you, Seventeen magazine

Home Ec classes and Seventeen magazine’s “One Plus One” supplement (“for nearlyweds and newlyweds”) schooled Boomer girls in the importance of a hope chest. We knew a girl’s honeymoon house would be wisely, carefully, and blissfully equipped. “Isn’t this how you want to live?” queried soft-focus magazine ads depicting a happy couple gazing adoringly at a fragile stem of crystal. “You betcha” was our collective answer.

Sadly, it doesn’t always work out that way. 

Sometimes, singleness, divorce or early widowhood leaves a woman pining for her sidelined, deconstructed or denied happy ending. In my case, a divorce and the subsequent division of household goods revealed the charred remains as the makeshifts they’d always been. My chipped Corningware continued to hold down the fort for 25 years post-divorce. Well, it still worked so why replace it?

Then the vintage ad above ignited a scathingly brilliant idea: Why couldn’t I engineer my own happy ending? Why not turn my empty nest into a fully stocked “honeymoon house” and assemble a third act trousseau like the bride I never was! Inspired by the little Lenox lassie, I started afresh. Here’s what I learned from her.

Dream a little dream with me

Our young lady of Lenox is a dreamer, yes, but a practical one. There’s nothing hazy about her vision of her future. Newly or nearly solitary women can glean plenty from this misty-eyed gal.

1. Start dreaming. We discover her in her bedroom, cloistered from the hectic work-a-day world. Women have always retreated to their bedrooms to dream. Set aside some time to revisit your youthful happily-ever-after ideals. What did your “dream house” look like? Build a Pinterest board or designate a new binder as your “bridal registry” and fill it with fabric swatches, paint chips, wallpaper snippets, tear-sheets.
2. Take your clues from your personal style. The Lenox girl’s pretty dress and classic coiffure speak of very traditional femininity–not for her Bohemian trappings. Knowing your style lets you ignore that ultra-modern chrome-and-leather couch if you’re a total Arabian Nights kind of girl. You have only yourself to please. Read that twice and say it aloud. Ignore naysayers who forecast resale doom. NEVER decorate for mythical buyers. They’re going to repaint it all anyway.
3. Quiz yourself. Her house will have a dining room—why? Because dinner parties and intimate suppers are important to this ladylike teen. Figure out exactly how you see yourself using your made-over house–cozy corners or open-planned for parties? What’s the mood and function of each room? Stroll through your house, clipboard in hand, and look at things with a fresh eye. Could this bedroom become a library? Music room? Sewing nook?  
4. Shop with head and heart. How does she know Lenox is the finest china? She does her homework! When filling your hope chest or linen closet, shop around, read reviews, ask the experts, but always consult your heart. Delicate bone china or rustic pottery? Solid napkins or prints? When in doubt, buy one representative item and use it for a week. You’ll soon discover if it truly reflects your heart’s desires.
5. Color your world with specifics. This girl doesn’t want orange dining room cushions. Neither coral, shrimp, rust, mandarin, tangerine, flame, orange-red, sunset, peach, terra cotta. Nope. She wants persimmon. And not just any old persimmon–bright persimmon! And a little orange tree. Applying that exacting level of detail clarifies, refines, filters and inspires. 
6. Establish emotional touchpoints. Why a little orange tree? Maybe she knows the fragrance will remind her of island honeymoon and her bridal bouquet. Make sweet reminders of precious times and people a fixture or feature in your honeymoon house. Nana’s copper teakettle will warm more than your mug.
7. Move forward in optimism. There is not the least smidgen of doubt in the Lenox lass’s heart that this dream won’t happen. Why? Her bedroom and wardrobe are evidence she can bring her dreams to life. Prior outcomes CAN predict similar results.
8. Anchor your dream with tangibles. She’s incorporating her dream into her current life in small but meaningful ways: the rattan bedpost, the island-inspired lowboy; the tropical flower on her sash. Her bedside trinkets have been carefully chosen to express her taste and underpin her dreams; they’re not a clutter of childhood flotsam and jetsam.
9. Dream big, start small. Bring everything possible into line with your dream life. If you can’t afford a silver service for 4 yet, you can at least pick up a spoon in your pattern to elevate your daily oatmeal. Her modest beginning is a pretty Lenox cup on her nightstand.
10.  Buy for a bride. Wedding gifts are chosen to be cherished for a lifetime. This time around, buy the finest you can afford, even if it takes a while to restock your hope chest. Maybe it starts with fresh, fluffy towels after years of using exhausted, tatty ones. A comfy wing chair for that fireside spot. A turquoise KitchenAid mixer. Or maybe (as it did for me), new rose-pink sheets that make me feel like I’m sleeping in a flower-strewn bower.

The Lenox Girl’s dream house was furnished with what she held most dear to her heart–and yours should, too. What’s important is that it’s important to YOU. And you don’t have to be a young girl just starting out or a “real” bride to bring that vision to life. You just need a dream, a prayed-over plan, determination, and maybe some self-discipline (fewer Starbucks lattes = new sofa all the quicker).

So, if you’re ever going to have that honeymoon house, honey, quit mooning and get going!  

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24:3,4